Saturday, June 17, 2006

Maintaining A Successful Relationship

I had a day off today, and had the opportunity to watch Dr. Phil, who talked about how to maintain a successful relationship. The followings are some of his suggestions which I found quite useful:

  1. Have a solid friendship - "Ask yourself what kind of friend you are being to your friends / loved ones," Dr. Phil says. "If you want a good friend, be a good friend," he suggests.
  2. Discover and meet each others' needs - "The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people," Dr. Phil explains, so learning about your loved ones' needs is extremely important.
  3. Set specific goals and make conscious efforts. Even small things will accumulate over time and make a difference. Find a quiet moment each day and come up with a specific goal to improve your relationship, whether it's calling your loved one during the day just to say hi, or telling them that you love him or her more often.
  4. Get back to basics."The idea is to have some concept of what a relationship is supposed to be and start doing those things," Dr. Phil urges. Write down your definitions of a successful relationship and live up to those definitions. Focus on the fundamental things that are going to make a difference in the long run.
  5. Take responsibility to improve your relationship.You can't control the way your loved one acts in your relationship, but you can control how you react in negative situations, and always do it to improve your relationship.
  6. Turn the negatives into a to-do list. For example, if you don't have fun with your partner, you need to make a list of enjoyable activities you can do together. Ask yourself, how you can turn the negatives in your relationship right now to a positive.

Sounds interesting hey? Do you experienced people out there have more hints for me? ;)

9 comments:

audrey` said...

Sounds very interesting :)
Be cheerful, sincere and trustworthy.
I've so much to learn from you, Kitty dear.

Kc said...

Commit not to quit even when all of the above fails. (Hi sis!) ;-)

Corry said...

Look at yourself first to see what needs to be changed in you and commit to do that. That's not always easy:-)

God's Grace.

Kitty Cheng said...

Audrey, yes being cheerful, sincere & trustworthy is sooo important. I've so much to learn from YOU dear!

Kitty Cheng said...

Hi Kc, long time no 'see". Great to have you back haha. Totally agree with you there! So often, people just give up so easily :(

Kitty Cheng said...

Corry, thanks for the reminder. We all need to be changed and transformed constantly don't we? That's not always easy, but necessary! :O)

Kitty Cheng said...

What would you do if you felt like giving up?

Corry said...

I have felt like that several times. But... to give up is to quit. To quit is to fail. To fail is to destroy my testimony, calling God a liar and that's exactly what Satan wants. And why? Only because I wouldn't have faith that God will give me what I need and I would grab a justification to get out of under doing the hard work. No one said it would be easy:-)

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”


In times like that, this verse helps me tremendously.

God's Grace.

Kitty Cheng said...

Great reminder and encouragement Corry. Thanks sis.