Friday, April 07, 2006

10 Hints On Communication

I received an email this morning from a caring friend, who wanted me to know about some important hints on communication based on the Word of God, which I found very useful:

  1. Learn to honestly express your feelings, don't attack the other person. (Proverbs 11:9)
  2. Choose gentle words and tones, don't offend by using harsh words. (Proverbs 15:1)
  3. Don't exaggerate or twist the facts. Avoid using extreme phrases like "never" or "always". (Ephesians 4:25)
  4. Point out concrete examples. If necessary, write down the main points before you communicate. Don't be vague.
  5. Try to seek solutions, and not just express your negative emotions. Your goal shouldn't be to win an argument, but to handle the conflicts (Romans 12:17-21)
  6. Listen carefully what the other person says, empathise with their feelings and needs. Try to understand what the other person doesn't say and the underlying thoughts. (Song of songs 1:19)
  7. Refuse to dwell on bitterness, anger, avoidance and conflicts. Although these emotions are normal, once they are to the extreme, they become sin. (Ephesians 4:26)
  8. Don't hesitate to confess your weekness immediately, and forgive the other person quickly. Never let yourself become bitter. (Luke 17:3-4)
  9. Continually communicate with the other person, ask them questions until you are certain that both of you understand what the other person's thoughts and feelings are. During the process of seeking the solution, encourage one another. (Romans 14:19)
  10. Train your mouth and heart, so that you can speak the right things, using the right ways for the right reasons, in the right time.

What do you think of these points?


Jayne said...

Hi Kitty!

Great post. #10 is my favorite. It kind of brings all the others together and reminds us just how sharp our tounges really are. And by watching what we say, we will not only protect our hearts, but the hearts of others.

Kc said...

Ouch! ;-)

So true. I need to work harder at taming that wild animal.

Corry said...

Excellent points and oh so critical for good communication! I only have some reservations with #6. The last part would come down to me assuming I would know what the other one is feeling or thinking and that could lead to a lot of misunderstandings (my own experience!). It would be their responsibility to contribute that to the conversation in order to have good communication and to help find the right solutions.

God's Grace.

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Kitty,

I think your points are awesome! I pray for His ways to be in me daily:-)

I need to meditate on your words. Thank you for sharing:-)

Have a Bless week!

Kitty Cheng said...

Hi Jayne, I also think that #10 is very important.

Kitty Cheng said...

Kc, I need to do the same. You know I am a fast speaker, and certainly need to be mindful of I say as well ;)

Mark D said...

Wow, Kitty, you have been posting some great stuff!! That whole list is right on!

Kitty Cheng said...

Corry, I agree that it's critical for both parties to contribute to the conversation in order to have good communication and to help find the right solutions.

Kitty Cheng said...

Godwyn, I also pray for God's ways to be in me and my relationships daily:-)

Kitty Cheng said...

Mark, thanks for your encouragement!