Monday, April 03, 2006

Friendship And Affectionate Love

According to C.S. Lewis, the co-existence of Friendship and Affectionate Love (in greek: philia) may help us to realise that friendship is in reality a love. Affectionate love is a reflection of the image of God. I think we need to learn how to be more spontaneous and warm in our love for one another. The relative importance of the two kinds of love (philia and eros - physical love) is graphically expressed by Lewis in these words: :

"Supposed you are fortunate enough to have "fallen in love with" and married your friend. And now suppose it possible that you were offered the choice of two futures: "Either you two will cease to be lovers but remain forever joint seekers of the same God, the same beauty, the same truth, or else, losing all that, you will retain as long as you live the raptures and ardours, all the wonder and the wild desire of Eros. Choose which you please." Which should we choose? Whice choice should we not regret after we had made it?"

How would you answer these questions? How would you choose???

What a choice to make! Fortunately, most of us do not have to make it. If I did, I would (should) choose philia. One can live without eros and still be content. But without philia life is almost impossible to bear. What do you think?

11 comments:

audrey` said...

Where have you been?
HaHaHa!

How have you been?
Hope everything is ok.

Yeah! You're right, Kitty.
Life would be so boring and dull without friends.
I'm very blessed to have met you :)

Have fun.
Be bless.

Amanda said...

That's too hard to answer considering that I did marry my friend!! 10 years next week!

Kitty Cheng said...

Hey Audrey, I've been out quite a bit, getting to know this friend that was the groomsman when I was the bridesmaid for my dear friend.

I've been ok, just thinking about love quite a bit (as you can see from my recent posts).

Yes I certainly think that friends are essential. I am very blessed to have 'met' you (although it would have been better if I had met you in person hehe, maybe one day?).

Kitty Cheng said...

awww Amanda. You're sooo blessed to have married your friend!

Congratuations on your 10th anniversary next week dear.

Mark D said...

Definitely philia...both are very important, but the true enjoyment and satisfaction of the eros is SOOOO dependent upon the quality of the philia.

Mark D said...

By the way, I read in a comment you made that there is this "friend." I also notice you are posting on love.

Coincidence? ;)

Kc said...

I agree with Mark D in all including our interest in what appears to be a budding...friendship. ;-)

May God bless you in all ways Kitty. ;-)

Kitty Cheng said...

Wow Mark, the insight that eros is dependent upon the quality of the philia is a revelation. Thanks for pointing that out.

wow I suppose this "friend" and I are getting to know each other, developing friendship and love at the moment.

Kitty Cheng said...

Kc, what do you mean by budding friendship?

Thanks for your blessings. Please pray for me.

curious servant said...

Thank you for your kind comment, Kitty.

You are a sweet heart.

Kitty Cheng said...

You're very welcome CS. Thanks for your kind comment too :)