Day 20 Challenge - An Attitude Of Gratitude

Scientists are finding that an attitude of gratitude is a powerful contributor to a happy life. Some believe that it may be the single most effective way to increase happiness.  Sometimes, it can be easy for us to think about what's going wrong, the money that's not there, the stress, or the worry.

The action point I've given myself today as Day 20 Challenge is to continuously develop & nurture an attitude of gratitude. 

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." ~Brain Tracy

The followings are some of the gratitude exercises that I am committed to doing regularly:

1. Name 5 things I am grateful for every day.
2. Keep a gratitude journal to write about the good things that happened to me.
3. Express my gratitude to people who have helped me.
4. Take a gratitude walk - set aside time while I go for a walk to focus on deepening my gratitude.
5. Make a gratitude list - my goal is to list 100 things.

Below is part of my gratitude list....I'm sooo grateful for:

• The opportunities for personal and community development in my life, work and business.
• The current projects I'm working on and how they have the potential to transform lives.
• My husband, family and the supportive friends in my life.
• The internet, social media, and technology that allows me to connect with many people.
• Divine guidance and wisdom.

Life is beautiful and I'm so grateful for it! How about you? What are you grateful for in this very moment? I'd love to hear from you, so please share a few things you're grateful for in the comment box below. And make sure to FB this post so we can keep the gratitude train going!

Day 19 Challenge - Decluttering

“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” -William Morris

After a busy weekend, I came home realising that I have quite a lot of things lying around that are taking up space but has no real purpose, or that I hardly ever use.

I believe that our environment has a considerable impact on us – our state, our level of productivity, our frame of mind. Every time I clear clutter in my house / room / computer, it always brings in new ideas and clarity.

Today I've given myself the action task of starting to sweep out and clearing the clutter in my life and space, including the following areas:

Computer - organise my files and folders, clear out documents I haven't been using, declutter the items on my desktop, and uninstall applications I barely ever use.

Desk - clear away unused papers & rubbish, organise items and store things that I don't have an immediate need now.

Warbrobe & Rooms - get rid of old clothes I don't wear, and throw out the things I rarely use.

Outdated Stuff - throw away old calendars, newspapers, old textbooks, documents and anything I'm not going to use etc.

“We don’t need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it.” - Donald Horban

Day 18 Challenge - Improving My Emotional Intelligence

Today I've committed to the challenge of improving my emotional intelligence (EI). For those of you who are not aware, emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient - 'EQ') is the ability to consciously respond to a situation rather than react under the influence of our emotions at that time.

I first heard about EQ / EI when I started my internet business a couple of years ago, where my business mentor shared with me the concept. I was told that every emotion we feel has a very specific physiology (posture, breathing, facial expressions and patterns of movement) connected to it. And the physiology has the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.

According to Jamie McIntyre, Co-Founder of 21st Century Education, if we are going to be emotionally intelligent, rather than reacting unconsciously, we must make a conscious decision on how we will respond to any given situation. We cannot control what happens out there in the environment around us, but we can control how we respond to the environment, and what happens inside of us.

Day 17 Challenge - Letting Go & Letting God

We humans are strange being. We have a tendency to want to 'hang on' to everything. I still have heaps of old books, old clothes, old notes, even old emails that I will probably never read again.

I was challenged today to "let go and let God". Last night, something happened and I realised that I had got involved in a particular situation that I shouldn't have, as I got this uneasiness when I sensed I couldn't handle the situation.

Have you ever noticed God has a way of reaching His people, and we don't necessarily have to get in the way? I believe that letting go and letting God rule in ALL parts of my life is an important and valuable lesson,  even this thing called the internet.

Day 16 Challenge - Exercise: Key To A Healthier Life

Aerobics in front of a screen :)

I was reminded today that we hold the power to determine our health through the food we eat and also through the exercise we do. Everyone wants to be healthy, but in order to have vital health we need to find out how to get (and stay) healthy through nutrition, food, exercise, diet and learn about better ways to take care of ourselves, from the inside out.

“The glory of young people is their strength.” ~ Proverbs 20:29

Day 15 Challenge - Money Management

‎Coco Chanel said, "There are people who have money and people who are rich."

Is having money and being rich one of the same thing? Or are they totally different?

In my previous post "Creating An Action Point", I shared that I want to be a rich woman - rich in spirit, rich in relationships, rich and healthy life experiences, rich mindset supported by financial literacy.

Day 14 Challenge - Taking Time Out

Like a lot of people I know, I have a tendency to rush, (think St Vitus' Dance). I believe that if we keep rushing, we tend to live on the surface instead of going underneath and deep! Having reflected on that fact, today I challenge myself to take some time out regularly to just rest, sit and be still, and to do things that are relaxing.

“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep.”
~Earl Nightingale

After some brainstorming, the followings are a list of the things I will take time out to start doing on a regular basis:

* nice relaxing dinner
* go to movies
* take photos
* write and read
* look at the sunset
* smell the flowers
* listen to music and sing songs
* walk along the beach & parks
* observe people :)

Will you join me in taking time out regularly to relax and regroup?

Day 13 Challenge - Reassess & Recommit To Our Marriage

This week (September 12-18) is Marriage Week in Australia, and it is a great opportunity for married couples to reassess and recommit to marriage. A time to see that marriage is an important relational institution that makes two people one entity - a great team. So, today D & I have decided to do something special for our marriage, as the task for Day 13 Challenge - Reassess & Recommit To Our Marriage!

"Just as two different threads woven in opposite directions can form a beautiful tapestry, so can two lives merge together to form a beautiful marriage."

We took some time out to reassess & recommit to our marriage. The following is a summary of our reflection.

(1) Communication

We felt that we need to communicate more effectively, based on our personality & expectations. We identified stumbling blocks to effective communication, including insufficient time, failing to share our feelings & failing to understand and listen to each other.

We've committed to set aside time that is good for both of us for meaningful conversations, recognise when to drop everything and listen, beware of talking only about the day-to-day nuts and bolts of life and communicate about thoughts and feelings, and to make time together to connect with each other, plan for date-night, catch-up time & holidays.

(2) Resolving Conflict

Even though we rarely have conflict or arguments, we are aware that we are very different. Anger & frustrations are inevitable at times, and we need to accept our differences by making adjustments, not expecting to change each other, seeking to complement each other, looking for each other's strengths, and support each other's weaknesses.

When conflict arises, we've committed to looking for a solution together rather than attack, surrender or bargain. We want to take whatever issue that is causing conflict from between us and put it in front of us so we can work on it together, express our views in turn and decide on the best solution for our relationship and see if it works (come back to the subject for review if necessary).

(3) Keeping Love Alive

We realised that we don't have enough fun & recreation times together. In order to keep love alive, it's important to develop our friendship. We need to find a list of activities we enjoy doing together, and to make sure we are still doing these things 5, 10, 20 years into our marriage.

We've committed to continue learning to recognise how each of us feels loved, and we re-visited Gary Chapman's excellent book "The Five Love Languages" (loving words, quality time, thoughtful presents, physical affection, kind actions). We've written down 6 specific occasions on which we have particularly known each other's love, and we both felt that was an excellent exercise. :)

"We Love Because God first loved us" ~ 1 John 4:19

Day 12 Challenge - Seek To Be Understood

In yesterday's post, I shared about my commitment and challenge to "Seek First To Understand", and today my focus is "To Be Understood". Knowing how to be understood is the other half of this important habit, and is crucial in the principle of empathic communication, and in interdependent situations.

"Seeking to understand requires consideration; seeking to be understood requires courage" ~ Stephen Covey

In seeking to be understood, it's important for us to share our hearts and present our ideas clearly, specifically and contextually - in a context of a deep understanding of people's paradigms, concerns and perspectives. Don't just get hung up on your 'own thinking'. What you present may even be different from what you had originally thought because in your effort to 'seek first to understand', you learned and grew!

I believe this habit is something we can all practice straight away. Next time you communicate with someone, you can put aside your own autobiography (as Covey puts it) and sincerely seek first to understand, then to be understood. Show understanding and respect, be discerning, sensitive, and aware as we share our different perceptions of certain ideas and situations.

I've just seeked to be understood through this post. How about you share a bit about yourself so I can understand you more?

Day 11 Challenge - Seek First To Understand

Today during a financial education seminar that I attended, I was reminded of the 5th habit from Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", which is: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Right there, I knew that this principle would be the challenges for these 2 days. In today's challenge I'll be focusing on the first part "Seek First To Understand", and tomorrow (Day 12 Challenge), I'll share about "To Be Understood."

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of." ~ Pascal

Too many of us (including me of course), "seek first to understand' can be really challenging, because it involves a very deep paradigm shift. We typically seek first to be understood. It's easy for us to project our own experiences onto other people's behaviour. We tend to listen with the intent to reply, rather than to understand.

In order to seek first to understand, Covey suggested a very important concept called "empathic listening" - which is listening with intent to understand. Empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look out through their perspectives, you understand their worldview, their paradigm and how they feel.

Today I've committed myself to working on really listening to others, seek first to understand through empathic listening through my interactions with people around me. And I'll ask for feedback in a week. Will you join with me in seek first to understand?

Day 10 Challenge - Creating An Action Plan

Jim Rohn once said, “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

Today I've taken upon myself the challenge to create an action plan and strategies to reach my life goal - to experience the ongoing process of transformation and grow rich in all areas of my life, & help others do the same.

I want to be a rich woman - rich in spirit, rich in relationships, rich and healthy life experiences, rich mindset supported by financial literacy. This life goal is going to be an ongoing project as I believe that we are all work in progress.

The following is a list of key strategies & plan of action to achieve this life goal:

(1) Understand The Goal Thoroughly

My life goal constitutes various elements: an ongoing process, transformation, growth, all areas of my life (spiritual life, relationships, personal and community development, physical & emotional health, financial freedom), helping others by inspiring, encouraging and facilitating people to do the same.

(2) Name Obstacles To Address Them

With this life goal, I do anticipate obstacles that will stand in my way of success. Some of the obstacles include procrastination, distraction, laziness, lack of motivation, courage & skills, discouragement & disappointment. And I am committed to overcoming them in God's strength!

(3) Make Use of Existing Resources & Develop Skills

There is a wealth of knowledge and experience around me which I can resource to help me with this life goal. I am blessed to have a number of coaches and mentors who invest their time and resources to help me. I also develop skills in order to achieve specific goals by learning through online training & communities, websites, books, and friends etc.

(4) Leverage on My Environment

Our environments have an impact on our lives. In order for me to achieve my life goal, I need to optimise (and modify if necessary) my physical environment, including my office, home, computer, online and offline communities, people that I hang out with, and my routine. Eg: I now look at the vision board that I created in Day 3 Challenge and it helps me focus on my dreams regularly.

(5) Create Accountability.

This 30-Day Challenge in September is in fact a form of accountability that I have towards myself. I also have a second level of accountability beyond myself, where I share my results and issues with my friends, family, mentors and coaches - depending on the area of my life. I also join support groups and communities that are related to my goals. At the end of every week (normally on a Sunday night), I spend time on reflecting on the week and occasionally writing on my journal. I find reviewing helpful as a form of accountability and to get feedback on how I'm doing.

Do you personally have an action plan to achieve your goals? I'd love to hear about them if you do.

Day 9 Challenge - Starting A Blog Network

I was inspired by a post from Problogger in terms of buildling a blog network, as I realised that like all bloggers, one of my goals in the blogosphere is to engage with readers and bloggers through my articles.

In this post, Darren Rowse talked about 'blogging alliance' (or 'blogging buddies'), which is a small group of bloggers who’ve committed to work together for the mutual benefit of all members of the alliance. And I find that idea fascinating!

Inspired by the post on Problogger, the challenge I give myself on Day 9 is to start my own blog network with the following goals in mind:

*Start a challenge, competition and camaraderie
*Collaborative cross referencing & promoting
*Sharing great content by linking to posts from other bloggers
*Inviting guest posts to broaden and expose readers to other perspectives and topics.
*Learn from experienced bloggers
*Serve & help newer bloggers
*Keep engaging bloggers and readers

I’m looking forward to starting this network, partnership, collaboration and alliance! :) x

Day 8 Challenge - 80/20 Rule & Quadrant 2

According to the Pareto Principle, the 80-20 rule states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. It is a common rule of thumb: 20% of our inputs lead to 80% of our outputs. This applies to everything around us, including the tasks on our to-do lists. It is often stated that the 80-20 principle is the secret to success in life by achieving more with less.

We should constantly ask ourselves, what are the tasks that give long-term results & benefits? If you list all your tasks, you’ll find only about 20% of your tasks contribute to 80% of your value output. The 20% high-value tasks reside in the Quadrant 2 of the Time Management Grid, coined by Stephen Covey, the author of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", which represents things that are important, but not urgent. The activities in Quadrant 2 contribute to achieving the goals and priorities of our life.

This quote from Stephen Covey sums up how we can best use our time : "I am personally persuaded that the best thinking in the area of time management can be captured in a single phrase : Organize and execute around priorities."


The action point that I have given myself on day 8 of this 30 Day Challenge is to invest more of my energy in areas that are most important (ie: 20% high value Quadrant 2 activities), including quality time in focussing on tasks which contribute to my goals, dreams, creating long-term plans, building relationships with loved ones, devotional & prayer time, family time, personal relaxation, fun & recreation, and things that have an impact in my life, and making a difference to people.

Upon reflection, I have also realised that when I’m unconscious of how I spend my time, I tend to spend time on many 80% low value tasks, because they are usually easier to do, and more urgent. However, this are rarely important activities which will make an impact in the long run.

How much time do you usually spend on each quadrant of the time management grid, 20% high value tasks and 80% low value tasks? Are you willing to commit with me to focus on 20% tasks & Quadrant 2 activities from now on?

Day 7 Challenge - Achieving An Organised Day

Time is precious! While the choice is ours in how to spend our day, I am aware that in order for me to achieve our goals and dreams, it is important for me to be organised and create an action plan for short term and long term goals in different parts of my life.

"A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power." ~Brian Tracy

So on Day 7 of this 30-Day Challenge to a better and richer life, the task that I have given myself as the challenge is to commit to the following steps which will help me achieve an organized day.

1. Make a To-Do List.
Make a list of things to do every morning before I start to work. Prioritize every item and consolidate similar tasks.

2. Don't Get Distracted or Diverted.
Distraction is a constant challenge for me personally, so I need to be aware of it and keep focussed on my schedule and tasks at hand.

3. Tick Off Items As I Complete Them.
Every time when I finish something, I will tick if off in my to-do list. I believe this will give me a sense of accomplishement throughout the day.

4. Do A Final Check.
At the end of the day, re-think and re-check my progress, so I can be more organized the next day.

5. Keep A Personal Journal.
Engage in regular in-depth analysis and evaluation of my experiences which I think will increase self-awareness and enhance my productivity.

Can you think of any other steps that help you organise your day?

Day 6 Challenge - Life Transformation Now

I LOVE life transformation, and I'm speechless after watching this video. This is truly beautiful! (watch now)

---> http://tinyurl.com/2c4ou95

I'm excited to see where this goes.

I'm so happy to see knowledge like this starting to come into my life and networks.

On Day 6 of the 30-day challenge, I have committed to take ACTION & be part of Life Transformation Now Club. I'm looking forward to learning from the best of the best in internet businesses!

Video Clip - My Story & Testimony

As I mentioned yesterday during Day 5 of my 30-Day Challenge in September, I've made a decision to share my story as a response to the amazing Tamara Lowe's 6-Minute Challenge on her facebook post. Below is the result of that action point where I put together a video clip of my story:

Day 5 Challenge - Video Challenge

First of all, let me introduce you to Tamara Lowe today. Tamara is a motivational speaker who runs events and seminars all over the world.

Her GET MOTIVATED Seminar is an action-packed, fun-filled, explosive, exciting, inspiring, skill-building business event that is world famous for its mega-watt superstar speakers and spectacular stage production.

Have a look at an awesome motivational rap from Tamara here:



Recently, Tamara threw a 6-Minute Challenge for her facebook friends to share their story on a video clip. So on day 5 of my 30-day challenge, I've started to put together a video clip of my story. I'll post it here tomorrow, so stay tuned......

Day 4 Challenge - Transformational Strategy

My mentor shared with me, "experiences create our realities, knowing this make sure you experience what you want and thus the reality you desire..... foresight really is better than hindsight."

Visual imagery is very important when it comes to goal setting, and it's good to choose our memories in advance, that's why it's advisable for us to create a vision & dream board (I shared my vision board on day 3 of my 30-day challenge above).

When people are living transformation, the focus is more inclusive, and their well-being is in relationship with others. Interpersonal interests prevail. Our common humanity become the prominent values in life. Who I am and who you are, and who we are as human beings at a much deeper level become important. Our desire is connection, communication, networking and living, rather than separation and survival.

Today's action task saw me reflecting, brainstorming & listing key points to life's major areas, which will both help myself and others as I seek to inspire, encourage & facilitate people to transformation.

(1) Spiritual Life - Friendship with God (Being Aware of God's Presence, Practising Constant Conversation with God, Meditating on God's Word), Life Purpose & Destiny, True Joy, Peace of Mind, Freedom From Fear, Attitude of Gratitude, Spiritual Growth

(2) Relationships - Relationship Matters, Long Lasting Relationships, Communication & Connection, Listen - Really Listen, Showing Love, Realistic Expectations, Commitment Is the Key

(3) Personal Development - Dare to Dream, The Power of a Good Plan, Association and Influence, Life-changing Education, Living an Abundant Life, Making the Decision, It is A Marathon, Not A Sprint.

(4) Health - Spiritual Health, Physical Health - Nutrition & Exercise, Emotional Health - Mind & Will, Psychological Health, Mental Health

(5) Finances - Budget, Getting out of debt, Saving, Leverage, Investing, Spending, Giving

In the coming days and weeks, I'll give myself specific tasks for these areas. Stayed tuned......

Day 3 Challenge - Vision & Dream Board

Today I took some time out to do the task I set for myself on Day 3 of the 30-day Challenge in September to reach a better & richer life - to put together an online vision board!

Seeing the dreams and goals in front of my own eyes is a real motivator and helps bring them to life even more! It makes them seem more easily attainable and helps to remove the mental block that might be there with some dreams. Hope you enjoy my vision board.

Free scrapbooking design customized with Smilebox

What are some images of your dreams? I'd love to hear from you! :) x

Day 2 Challenge - An Ideal & Transformed Life

As I shared yesterday (the first day of the 30 day challenge) each day of September, I am going to give myself a task and an action point to do in order to achieve the goal I have set for myself to live a better and richer life.

On this second day of September, the task I have given myself to do is to reflect, list and share a bit about what I envision my ideal and transformed life would look like, bear in mind that transformation is an ongoing & progressive journey. Transformation is like a metamorphosis. Like a caterpillar to a butterfly, our values, our way of thinking, our actions, our total operating system is taking on a new life. It is also about empowerment – experiencing and sharing triumphs and challenges.

When I imagine my ideal & transformed life, I ask myself the following questions:
What makes life worth living?
What is so important that it is absolutely essential for an ideal life?
If time and money were not an issue, what would I like to see, have, do, become, contribute?

The answers to these questions point to my key elements — the fundamental drivers for everything that I do.

Imagination. Dreams. Passion. Ideals. Possibilities.

Here goes:
*A fulfilled, purposeful, meaningful, significant and balanced life
*Awesome marriage, friendship and relationships
*Success in business and financial freedom
*Tip top health & wellness in all areas of life
*Stand on the bank of the pathway to purpose
*Create my own online interactive learning environment that will make a huge difference to people's lives
*Travel the world, in particular see the 7 wonders (Machu Picchu in Peru, Grand Canyon in USA, Galapagos Islands in Ecuador, Serengeti in Tanzania, Taj Mahal in India, Pyramids of Giza in Egypt) :)
*Contribute to causes I believe in - in particular in the arts, education, ministry and mission endeavours
*Help people fulfil their God given dream, destiny and purpose.

What does your ideal & transformed life look like?

Day 1 Challenge - 30 Days To A Better & Richer Life

Today is the first day of Spring and the last quarter of 2010 here in Australia. Thinking back the last 3 quarters of this year, I feel there is a need for me to reflect on my personal ideal vision and goals. I was given 'a nudge' to participate in a 30 DAY CHALLENGE in September to a better and richer life, which is part of my experience of the ongoing process of transformation and growth in all areas of my life.

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs

For the month of September, I've taken upon myself a 30 day Challenge, inspired by both @LivingLifeNow where I did a 42 Day Challenge and Beyond back in 2007 & @30DLBL where readers are encouraged to live their best life.

Each day of September, I am going to give myself a task and an action point to do in order to achieve the goals I set for myself.

On this first day of September, the task I have given myself to do is to share the 30 day challenge on this blog (which I've just done hehe). I'd appreciate your encouragement and support in my endeavours to build a better & richer life.

I would like to add that to me, being rich isn't just about money. Being rich is a state of mind, which includes rich in spirit, rich in relationships (family, friends, romance & love), rich life experiences, rich mindset supported by financial literacy and total wellbeing, including health & fitness, business & career, recreation & fun, contribution, and personal growth. I will go through these in the next 30 days.....so stay tuned, and come back often!! :)

Marriage & Relationship

I stumbled upon the following article by Keidi Won a few times this week. And when I see things more than once, I generally pay more attention. This is a great reminder to all of us who are or will be in a relationship and marriage. It contains nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.

AND IT GAVE ME A RENEWED SENSE OF COMMITMENT TO MY HUBBY!!!

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'

In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.'

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away, who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

Gratitude Can Improve Our Lives

Gratitude is a powerful thing. It can dramatically improve our lives and the lives of people around us. Start embracing gratitude by counting your blessings, giving thanks for little things always and be content. And making it a habit too!

Do you know people who don't seem happy? Be ready with a smile and encouraging words each time you see them. You may need to have patience, but your friends will appreciate it. Your interactions with them will be much more pleasant. And as a result you'll have a new reason to be thankful! :)

I believe that hard times make good times sweeter. Remember that obstacles and challenges not only make us stronger, but they cause us to get out of our comfort zone. Without challenges, there can be no improvement. Without obstacles, there can be no achievement. Be thankful for the opportunities that they provide.

True gratitude can improve our lives, but it needs to involve action. Lend a hand to someone in need. Pitch in to help with projects. Give your time & resources. Listen to others. Give back as often as you can. Even a friendly smile can make all the difference in the world.

What are you thankful for?

The 5Cs of Self-Leadership

In 'The Ant and the Elephant', business strategist and Olympians, Vince Poscente, writes about the parable of Adir the ant and Elgo the elephant. Like two teammates who must work together to realize a common goal, Adir (the conscious hero) and Elgo (Adir's subconscious partner) must work as a single creature in order to reach the Oasis, their vision of paradise in the African savannah.

This simple story is a powerful metaphor designed to help the readers to strive in all aspects of lives. According to Poscente, there are five C's that will help us achieve leadership for the self:

CLARITY OF VISION - A goal with a depth of meaning has an emotional buzz.

COMMITMENT - Commit to a process of positive dominant thoughts.

CONSISTENCY - Apply consistent strategies.

CONFIDENCE - Strengthen confidence by breaking negative patterns.

CONTROL - Practice responses to the unforeseen events that may arise.

I am committed to these five C's in all areas of my life - spiritual, relationships, personal development, health and finances.

Servant Leadership

I believe that the theme of servanthood is an essential concept for leadership. All good leaders are servant leaders. Servant and leader are two roles that must be combined in one person.

The servant-leader is servant first. It begins with the understanding that one needs to serve, and wants to serve. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. Jesus teaches all leaders for all time that greatness is not found in rank or position but in service. True leadership is grounded in love, which must issue in service.

The significance of the attribute of servanthood is Jesus’ example. Jesus listened to and served those on the periphery and the marginalised and encountered them with grace and love. He saw their needs and responded in kindness, not concerning Himself with their status or character. Through His ministry Jesus presented the gospel in a living and tangible way. The gospel ‘bridge’ must be two ways - not a monologue, but interaction - building relationships by serving.

The servanthood of Jesus shows us the freedom to surrender what one wishes, to serve the purpose of God and the good of others; the faith to believe that God’s power will be at work through our weakness – as it happened in Jesus, who offered Himself as broken bread and poured-out wine for the world. Jesus took on the very nature of a lowly servant when He entered human life in His incarnation. What an example Jesus provides of the spirit of humility, and being made in human likeness. Externally, therefore, Christ appeared as a mere human being; outwardly considered, He was no different from other people. This was indeed an act of great condescension for one who possessed the form of God. But Christ's incomparable act did not end here; He further humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death.

Work & Calling

I attended a Marketplace Ministry Conference last Friday, and was reminded that the Bible has a lot to say about work and calling. Indeed, Jesus said, “do work till I come.” So how would Jesus have us, in the midst of our busy and often stressful work environments, rise up and bear fruit to our Father’s glory?

During one of the workshops, we were told that many workers feel unfulfilled and frustrated in their work, including Christians. Work can be boring, mundane, stressful, and insignificant. Many do not see a bigger purpose for their work than simply earning money or meeting temporal needs of those served. While satisfying the needs of self and community are necessary, these purposes are ultimately unfulfilling if one does not sees a connection with God’s purposes.

For some, work feels a bit like the Egyptians must have felt when Pharaoh said, “let them collect their own straw but don’t reduce their quota of bricks.” This is not how work is meant to be. The Bible gives us an entirely different view of work – a realm where we can expect to see His kingdom come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. This is the way God intended work to be from the beginning of time – His children managing His creation in relationship with Him.

We should establish that our everyday business as a call from God for which He anoints us and equips us. God’s personal invitation for us to work on His agenda using the talents we’ve been given in ways that are eternally significant.

Without Love We Are Nothing!

Psychologist Elaine Walster spent 15 years to interview over 100,000 couples, to find out how long their love lasted. She discovered that between 6 months to 2.5 years after people got married, they would start to feel bored of their wife or husband.

There are many kinds of love. The encompassing love of our parents begins our own life's journey of love, a journey that wends its way through love of parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, romantic partners, and eventually full circle to the encompassing love of our own children—and grandchildren. Without love we are nothing!

Love is fundamentally important to our humanity. Various expressions of love are important, including romantic, partnered love. No one theory captures the various forms of love, but virtually all of the love theories help us to understand love better. Love may manifest somewhat differently across both cultures and ages, but overall, people are more similar than different.

The sad reality is that many people only rely on feelings and romantic love, and neglect the real love (agape). 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes this real love, the kind of love that is everlasting, unfailing and undestroyable.

In summary, this real love is not only a feeling, but a decision and an action. It’s not a possessive, self-centred and selfish love, but kind, patient and sacrificial love. This kind of love is based on truth, righteousness and light.

As my first year wedding anniversary is approaching, I pray that our love for each other will continue to be based on agape, in God's strength.

True Fulfilment

God has a plan and unique gifts for us all. Instead of focusing on improving things we are not good at in the first place, we should focus on discovering and working on our gifts. No one can be good at everything, but each of us can be excellent at something.

Some people can naturally talk, its a gift from God, they use it properly, some can write, this is also a gift, they use it well, some can not sing or compose music but they want to because they like the recognition people have got from it, and that’s why there are so many songs that aren’t even worth listening to (Not knocking singers here, just saying the truth).

An important thing is to stop trying to be what you’re not, accept yourself for who you are, the truth is God sees you as precious, special and beautiful. When you do this you will see the winner that has been within you will start to emerge and then you will find true fulfilment.

God didn’t make us to be mediocre, he didn’t make us to be unimportant or inferior. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). True fulfilment is doing what we are made to do, in His time.

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Garden Of Gethsemane

Today I learned that transitional prayer bridges from one season in our lives into the next. It may be described as prayer that flows from the heart of our Heavenly Father, with the mind of Christ to us. It is painful, powerful and a necessary type of prayer in the life of every Jesus follower.

Jesus had taken Simon and Zebedee's two sons with Him to the garden of Gethsemane, but although they were there with Christ, when it was time to pray the Lord went off to be alone with His Father. I was reminded that there are some things in our Christian walk that we can share with others, but there are other times when it can only be a walk of one, whereby we stand alone before God. Transitional prayer is such a type of divinely-inspired, one-on-One spiritual encounter.

"...Jesus began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then He said to His disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me."—Matthew 26:37-38

Mark 14:33 records Jesus, "began to be deeply distressed and troubled"

Jesus Christ's intercession in Gethsemane was extremely painful on levels that we can barely begin to understand. He suffered physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally as He prayed. Whilst our prayers and intercession cannot be compared to that of Christ's Gethsemane experience, nonetheless we understand that there are times when God gives us grace to pray and push through our own discomfort, in order that His purposes and plans may be released from Heaven to earth—both for us as individuals and also for a corporate faith application.

Have you ever prayed until it hurts? I recall a number of times recently I wept for several occasions as God unfolded the suffering of different people / people groups. I hadn't experienced this previously, but now I understand that I was identifying with the Father Heart of God.

The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.—Matthew 26:41

Jesus counseled His disciples that they must watch, and pray, and stay alert, and avoid the temptation of allowing their flesh to rule over the leading of the Holy Spirit in their lives. As disciples today, may we receive this word of encouragement today and pray even when it hurts; pushing through until breakthrough comes down in the presence and power of God.

The Father heart of God is so evident at Gethsemane. God released an angel to come and minister to His dear Son; God gave the gift of endurance to Christ to pass through Gethsemane and reach Golgotha.

"....everything is possible for you. Take this cup from Me"...—Mark 14:36

By asking His Father to take the cup from Him, Jesus raised a question of the possibility of not having to drink the cup of suffering. Jesus was an obedient Son and understood His destiny, yet even Christ asked the Father if it was possible for the cup to be taken from Him.

At Golgotha, Christ called out again to His Father with a question that did not receive an answer this side of eternity: "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?"—which means, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me" (Mark 15:34b).

There are times in our lives when we call out to God when our hearts are full of pain, with questions that have no answers. I recall such a situation many years ago and the comfort I received when I realised that our dear Lord died on the Cross with an unanswered question. Jesus can empathise with us in every situation. He is the Light at the end of the tunnel and the Light in the middle! He is beautiful in every situation and brings peace to our troubled souls. May we rest in His sovereignty and in His ability to meet us in the place of pain and help us transition to healing and wholeness, so that we may be used to pray life-changing prayers that flow from His heart.

"...Yet not as I will, but as You will."—Matthew 26:39

Surrender is about our ability to trust in God and obey Him. In love, He enables us to turn from self-reliance and become completely God-reliant. Boldness is preceded by a fresh brokenness in God's servants, in which Christ is lifted up and exalted through our adoration of Him and obedience to Him.

Attitude

What is an "attitude"? We all carry our attitude around with us. Think of Descartes’ famous quote: “I think, therefore I am.” Our worldview is limited by our own perception. Some say perception is reality, but the fact is that our perspectives in life, our experiences, education and personality all have a part to play in shaping our attitude to everything around us.

So, depending on how we perceive the world, we will respond, interpret and react accordingly. Our attitude affects how we behave and even how we feel.

Chuck Swindoll says that attitude is more important than facts, the past, education, money, circumstances, failures, successes, what other people think or say or do.
Attitude is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, church, a home, or even a country. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past. Nor can we change the fact that people will act a certain way. We also cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to control our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you -- we are in charge of our attitudes.

Have a moment of soul searching - what kind of attitude have you chosen to embrace today?

Contentment

"I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." (Philippians 4:11-12).

Not sure how many of us can say with certainty what Paul said here - being able to be content in any situation. Lately I have been reminded the importance of focusing on God in all circumstances. How? The answer is the next verse, which is one of my favorite verses in the Bible -"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13)

My life does not work well when I try to live it in my own strength. It does work well when I invite God to live His life in me by His strength. Every day I need to adopt this attitude: "I don't know all that this day holds, but I know God has designed my life so that I need Him today. I know that I need to be walking close to Him, depending on Him in every circumstance."

Do you think it's better to want what you have or to have what you want?

Wealth And Generosity

Are you rich? Are you generous?

If you live in America, Australia, or any western country for that matter, then the answer is yes - you are rich!

Most of us focus more time on what we don't have than what we do have. If you own a car (and your car has a house), you are rich. If you own a computer, and it's working, you are rich. If you have 3 meals a day, and clean water to drink, you are rich.

Why Christians are to serve and to be generous? In the New Testament, we are given a very specific charge and reason why followers of Jesus Christ should be servants & generous.

We need to give generously not because we have more than other people, but because that's what Jesus teaches us. Jesus teaches us that those who follow Him are to do more and give more out of gratitude. (Luke 6:27)

Wealthy people aren't necessarily generous people, but generous people are often wealthy people. (wealth in the sense of abundance and richness in the Lord).

Are you wealthy? Are you generous?

Vine & Branches

'Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God.' ~William Carey

"I am the true vine, and My Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that bears not fruit He takes away: and every branch that bears fruit, he purges it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can you, except you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit; so shall you be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you: continue you in my love. If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love; even as I have kept My Father's commandments, and abide in His love." (John 15:1-5, 7-10)

Prayer: Ask the Lord to bring us into an abiding relationship with Him. Invite Him to prune us, make His words and direction clear to us. As you consider God’s love and provision, meditate on the above scripture as you pray.

(Inspired by Transforming Melbourne's 40 Days Prayer & Fasting Guide)

What Are Your Words For 2010?

On the morning of New Year's Eve, I spent hours looking back at my photos, journals & blogs from the last few years. I reflected back to the last New Year's Eve and how I was enjoying preparing and planning for our BIG DAY. Some of the emotions that I had about how the year ahead would pan out, the obstacles I didn't know I would have to face in life & ministry.

I was thinking about the new year ahead, vision, mission, dreams, goals, aspirations, desires and hopes for my family, ministries, communities, businesses, my city and the world..... I have many dreams, and I have many personal challenges, yet I feel strong and ready for an exciting New Year.

Five words came to my mind as I think about 2010:
1.Transformation
2.Purpose
3.Love
4.Healing
5.Provision

To me these five words are very powerful. I believe they will keep my spirit strong, they will keep me believing, they will keep me focussed, and they will move me forward. Out of the five words, TRANSFORMATION is one that I have the strongest emotions to. One of my life goals is to experience the ongoing process of transformation, and help others do the same. It's my heart's desire to be an agent of transformation.

I believe "transformation" is something we allow to be done to us, not something we do by our own power alone. I pray that we can submit to God's power and by His grace, "changed into another form" from "caterpillars" to "butterflies", hence becoming a "new creation" (2Co 5:17).

What are some of the words that come to mind when you think about this New Year?

Christmas Reflection & New Year's Thoughts

I am so thankful for all the Lord has done for me in 2009, and I am exceedingly excited to see more to come in 2010. As we enter the last week of December, I can't help but to look back on 2009, and look forward to a new year ahead.

This Christmas was the first Christmas Deric and I celebrated together as husband and wife, along with my beloved Mum and two of our good friends. We had a restful & relaxing day rejoicing in the Lord, amidst cooking and reflecting on the real meaning of Christmas - the birth of Jesus.

On Boxing Day we went to our church's outreach activity where there was a BBQ organised for people in the community. I got talking to a homeless guy and learned so much from him. That really reminded me that presence is just as important, if not more important than presents during Christmas and in our daily lives.

I am interested to know what the Lord has done for you in 2009? Also, if you have any thoughts and visions for 2010 I would love for you to share them in the comments. I'd love to pray for you and with you.

God bless you all right now & in this coming year of 2010

Are You Part Of Advent Conspiracy?

Three weeks ago a good friend of mine from the US asked me the above question. I had no idea what Advent Conspiracy (AC) was. She told me about it, and invited me to join the movement. (If you don't know what it is, you can find out more through their website on http://www.adventconspiracy.org/). I was so touched by the principles and concepts behind AC, but quickly forgot about it due to busyness. Tonight I was reminded of AC from the video at church, and decided to spread the word.

Christmas has the power to change the world. So, what happened? What was once a time to celebrate the birth of a savior has somehow turned into a season of stress, traffic jams and shopping lists.

And when it's all over, many of us are left with presents to return, looming debt that will take months to pay off, and this empty feeling of missed purpose. Is this what we really want out of Christmas?

What if Christmas became a world-changing event again?

My new family has a 'no-gift' policy - all money for "Christmas shopping" will go to meaningful causes instead. Like one of the ethos of AC, we prefer giving presence over giving presents, for the sake of it. And we are determined to celebrate the reason for the season - Jesus Christ our Saviour! We vote compassion over consumption!

I want to encourage you to join this movement, and I pray that the Lord will use it mightily for HIS glory.

Wishing you all a blessed & joy-filled Christmas, as you celebrate the birth of our Lord, spend time with loved ones, and reflect on the glorious gospel and the wonderful news of Immanuel - God with us!

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Transformation

There are many crises of our times in all areas — family, economic, religious, moral, societal and political. There is an unprecedented need for spiritual renewal all over the world. If there is still the opportunity for radical transformation, we desperately need a way forward, a Godly strategy that will set forth the principles we need to follow.

Since becoming part of the Transforming Melbourne movement, I have been reading and reflecting on the subject of transformation. C. S. Lewis once argued, every culture has its own blind spots, its own outlook. It is good at "seeing certain truths and especially liable to make certain mistakes." C. S. Lewis placed great value on seeing through other people's eyes. He said, "My own eyes are not enough for me, I will see through those of others."

In this context we desperately need community, the church, so that we are stimulated to love and good deeds. The church, as Paul said to Timothy, was intended to be "the pillar and foundation of the truth" that transforms. We can hope for victory not because of our own strength but because the battle is the Lord's. We can trust in the character and purposes of our Lord. We need to intervene in the conflict, but we also need to maintain our strength through intercession. Even if we lose personally, our God wins in the end. That is our sure and certain hope.

Several concluding observations can be made related to transformation as a unifying mission for the Church at the beginning of the twenty-first century. A three-year World Inquiry related to the mission of God has shown that “the patterns of the past are showing ‘wear’ and are in need of repair.” A new paradigm that helps us interpret and organize our approach to mission for the future has emerged. God is on a mission of transformation and is calling out servants to act as catalysts in mobilizing the whole body of Christ to bless the nations through the transformation of people, churches and culture.

Are you willing to take part in that?

Holistic Health

Last night, I was feeling weary & weak. I had an early night and rested for most of today and now I am feeling better. Does that mean I am healthy and well?

The truth is, if we are able to eat, sleep and work, it does NOT necessarily mean that we are healthy. Health is holistic. According to World Health Organisation (WHO), "health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

Holistic view of health is a view in medical practice upholding that all aspects of people's needs, psychological, physical and social, should be taken into account and seen as a whole. Disease is a result of physical, emotional, spiritual, social and environmental imbalance. We need to develop a much more holistic and well-rounded view of what it means to be healthy.

There are three areas to each person:
(1) Our Body (the physical nature)
(2) Our Soul (the mind, will, emotional & intellectual nature), and
(3) Our Spirit (the part of us that transcends this world and communes with God).

Even though our body may not be 'diseased', we do need to make sure that our soul & spirit are healthy too.

How do you ensure that you're healthy and well all round? Please leave your comments below to share with me!

Fight Breast Cancer

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Australia. Although it is almost over, the fight for a cure isn't!

There are so many ways to help. Clicking at The Breast Cancer Site is one way to benefit the cause. Go to TheBreastCancerSite.com and click on the pink button that says "Click Here To Give - It's Free!" For every click, the sponsors donate funds to the National Breast Cancer Foundation to provide free mammograms for women in need. It's easy and it works: Over 20,000 women have been helped so far!

All of us can take action for the cause now, and I think it's important to make the fight against breast cancer a priority in October and beyond!

New Ventures In A New Season

It's been a while since I wrote this blog. I have been really busy since my wedding 5months ago and the recent postponed honeymoon in Malaysia. Along with my ministry with Transforming Melbourne, I have officially started writing the manuscript of a new book about transformation, as well as pursuing the idea for an online interactive learning environment (ILE) and I am very excited about it all!

I have started the program of building the website for this virtual online training about dating and relationships. With fear and trepidation I embark on this new venture so I can be even more equipped to help people in transforming their lives and achieving their dreams. Pray for me friends. I need to dive into the major world of e-learning, book writing and in depth research. Exciting and challenging so far!

When I Gave Up Talking.....

During the 40 hour famine last weekend, I went beneath the water, let the world above go on, and gave up talking. The experience was both enriching yet challenging! I spent a fair bit of time praying, as I believe that prayer could be like a canvas of silence, and on it we paint sparely, with no word or sound. Instead of 'talking' to God like I usually do during prayer, I simply spent time with Him, and realised that silence can really be a symphony bathing my ears with God's Presence. No wonder it's been said that silence is golden.

On the other hand, as I looked into the silence, at times I battled with a sea of mutes, which led me to begin thinking about those who don't have a voice in our society. There are so many injustice issues in our world, so many without a voice: the hungry kids in extreme poverty, the women that are trafficked victims, the refugees that have experienced war, the homeless people on the street.

The Father heart of God breaks over His voiceless children. What would our city look like if the voiceless children of God are cared for?

Thank You!

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